SuperGod

2012-01-29T22:36:00.001+08:00

The Long View: A Reflection
(often attributed to Oscar Romero,
actually written by John Cardinal Dearden)

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation
in realizing that. This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well. It may be incomplete,
but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference
between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.
Amen.

2012-01-24T16:13:00.000+08:00

I should do something to save myself for You

2012-01-22T00:00:00.003+08:00

They don't know how much strength Your love gives me
Little by little, I'll inch forward..
Wait for me
I'll get there soon
Father, wait for me

Everything -- Tim Hughes

2012-01-15T22:12:00.000+08:00

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

I surrender.. Again

2012-01-15T21:52:00.002+08:00

18 So I say, “My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the LORD.”

19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

28 Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.
29 Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

31 For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.

Lamentations 3:18-33

2012

2012-01-01T15:15:00.002+08:00

I hope I can fulfill my new year resolutions

2011-12-18T20:02:00.001+08:00

I'm not saying I don't deserve it..
I just
Wouldn't do that to those I love

2011-12-05T00:58:00.001+08:00

I WANT TO DIE

2011-11-23T21:04:00.001+08:00

I hope I'm able to cope better with disappointments and expectations
With attention and ambition

This ongoing battle within myself

2011-11-21T20:57:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really as deeply in love with God as I hoped for myself to be
The fact is, and will always be, that my sinful nature always places myself above everyone else, even above Him
I've come to a point(several times) where I'm just so sick of myself and my rebellious ways
That I get so tired of fighting a losing batttle
And I give up and give in to the reign of my self-centredness and pride within me
What I didn't realise is that it's not a battle between me and myself
But a winning battle between that of God and that of the devil
I'm not losing
Because He died on the cross and overcame every single obstacle I may and will face
Even when that obstacle's myself
I can overcome my ugly side if I allow God to lead me by His spirit and to do His will in my moment of weakness
Grace enough, indeed..

Three steps backward, two steps forward
He'll make my every step into leaps and jumps

Forgive me for the many times I've failed to understand how much You love and believe in me
I'll take a million chances from You
Cos I have nowhere else to go
Truly, I found home right beside You..

This comes from the deepest part of my heart in my soundest state of mind
Help me to really really really learn to die to myself daily and take up the cross of Jesus Christ
That I may, first and foremost, fall deeper in love with You
So that I then can be counted for
To advance the kingdom of God

One of my first few prayers

2011-10-23T23:56:00.000+08:00

"If there are going to be so many people in heaven when I see You, I wanna make sure I can get a good glimpse of You! I want to be sitting in the inner circle of Your courts, just to be near You! I want to see Your face, I want to hear Your voice. I want to know Jesus.."

The First And The Last -- Joel Houston(Hillsong United)

2011-10-19T09:51:00.000+08:00

You are the First and the Last
Beginning and the End
The promise of wonders to come
Our future is in Your hands

Caught in the light
With all the earth we will sing
You are the author of Love
Our freedom is in Your Name
Embracing the cross meant for us
Brought us to life again
Caught in the Love
With all we are let us sing

God our hope and our salvation
Worthy of all the praise
Be our light everlasting
Great is Your Name
Jesus the First and the Last

Show us the way of Your Love
Lead us towards the truth
Stir up the fire in us
To live out this life for You
Caught in Your Name
Jesus forever we'll sing

Every heart, every nation will hear the sound
As Your light breaks through darkness
And Your Name rings loud
Every distance horizon will meet as one
Singing holy is Your Name
We sing holy is Your Name

Rise - Joel Houston(Hillsong United)

2011-10-12T23:24:00.003+08:00

All the earth come alive
Lift your eyes to the morning
Let our hearts beat again
With a lifeblood that never fails
Your love it will never fail

Breaking down the divide in a holy collision
The divine in disguise
Took the cross for our sin and shame
Our God You will never fail

See the lost in return
Swing the doors ever wider
See the tide as it turns
Love and mercy is on the rise
As the world folds into Your light
All creation will see Your light

Hear the sound of freedom rise
As our song breaks the silence
Echoing the angel cry
Let us lift up Your holy Name
Hereafter to sing Your praise
Forever and ever

We will hold, we will love
We will fall in surrender
We will rise, we will run
We will live to declare Your Name
Forever to bring You praise
Forever we’ll lift up Your Name

The universe on its knees
See the stars in surrender
God above kings and queens
Every idol will bend and break
But our God You will never fail
Forever and ever

Swing the doors wider
Sound the praise louder
All our hearts cry out
For the glory of Your Name
Our God You will never fail

Lift the Name higher
Shine the light brighter
All the earth cry out
For the glory of Your Name
Our God You will never fail

Lyrical poet, you caught my heart again:)

2011-09-16T11:51:00.000+08:00

When I'm looking for a miracle but find none,
No near hope and inspiration
I'll remember that I'm a walking miracle in Christ
Even if no one believes so
Cos I myself have known and witnessed the power and love of Jesus

Only when I'm immersed in God's presence can I find redemption and forgiveness for myself
Learning to embrace a Father's discipline despite it being so foreign and seemingly unloving
How I'm so spoilt and awkward when it comes to learning my lessons
I guess nobody I know can really understand or empathize
Having to weather my own and others' critiques and unbelief in me
Sometimes I just give in, forgetting God's truth and promises
But only when God arises, can the hopeless have hope, the unlovely be loved, the sinner get grace and the fatherless finds a father
I'll always remember how You were my shield and counsellor,
Rebuking me, but also reminding me of who I really am
May not seem 'spiritual', crazily gracious or well-tempered
But perfection is not my goal
I really just enjoy the quiet times alone with my God, to worship and to sing my spirit's song
To cry through the endless, sleepless nights
Knowing I've actually only got God to depend on and trust in
If this is not your kind of 'Christianity', I'm sorry
Cos I really just wanna be so overwhelmed by His love, standing in nothing but awe
I have no boasts, no selfish ambition
God knows what I want
God knows I just want to know more of Him and remain in His ways
Though it's really difficult,
Love in the shadows has become the light that leads me on

Of course I want to be a person that serves God with my hands and feet
I just wish we all could just understand one thing.. Love?
That people are all different, me not being you doesn't make me not a child of God
Church is a place overflowing with radical unconditional love,
Not comparisons, facades, judgements and compromises
I just hope God will work through me and make me more like the person I was created to be to do His work
Less selfish, judgemental, ungrateful, bitterness, disobedience
Seems so impossible right now

But what I'm not, He is
He isn't after my perfection
And that's all I care about
Don't give two hoots about living up to worldly standards
Must I be goodlooking? Must I be smart? Must I be eloquent? Must I be outspoken? Must I be all these before I'm able to serve? No

2011-09-14T14:55:00.000+08:00

" Maybe we're completely naïve
Maybe we're fools for even entertaining the thought
Maybe we're too ignorant of all the issues and how deep they actually run
The thing is, the skeptics will never tire of their own voice,
And we're not always going to get it right, we're gonna stumble time and time again

But call me fool,
The poor will be with us always,
Humanity will always be broken
There'll always be
The man without a home
The widow who suffers alone
Another slave to free
Another orphan to come alongside
Another conflict to end
The fact is injustice will raise its ugly head time and time again
The cruel unpredictability of circumstance will remain around every corner of life

There's a sleeping giant beginning to stir
A people awakening to real love
And are starting to walk in it
Our eyes fixed on Jesus Christ
We're moving beyond our differences
Laying down our egos
Casting aside our logos
Rising up with hearts as one
Our value nailed to a cross
That we would find value in the broken, hurting and the lost

If this is foolishness, let us embrace it
Let us fight against the monster of apathy and indifference
Let the seduction of comfort and convenience
And conformity be dead and buried
Let us go war with injustice and oppression
Let our faith, hope and our love unite us
May the stories of our lives, in all things,
Reflect the wonder and grace of Jesus' Name
Amen "

2011-09-10T01:58:00.000+08:00

The Stand -- Hillsong United

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

2011-08-29T10:11:00.000+08:00

Fix You -- Coldplay

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Your road is narrow, but Your burden light

2011-07-21T22:07:00.004+08:00

schl's been kinda kind on me,
and i thank God for my friends who make schl much more bearable, and even enjoyable:)

anyway,
just wanted to type down some things that flashed pass my mind..
Philippines......
hahaha i still miss that place so much
everytime i look through the photos, i can vividly remember the smiles and warmth of the children
life's so simple yet harsh for them..
i rlly rlly wanna go back to spend more time with them, bless and love them,
and learn so much more from them
the simplicity and beauty of life, of God, and of God's church

i think i see the most beautiful things of earth at the least comfortable and pretty places
the best of God is felt by the heart, sensed by the spirit and imprinted in my memory always

but we are but far from the best that we can give to God..
sometimes we've gotta learn to not get so caught up with ourselves, chill a little..
appreciate the simplest things in life
giving thanks for the most seemingly insignificant stuff
each breath i take, i'm reminded that i'm alive and held with creative hands

but i yearn to know more about You
cos i know this is not enough,
my knowledge abt You, love and fear for You isn't quite enough
i want to obey You cos i know what You have for me is good,
all Your ways are loving and faithful,
they're for my own good
thus i don't wanna complain or be calculative
i want to live simply as a child of God,
abiding all Your laws and testifying that You are real and good
that the world will see that God is the only way to true everlasting and fulfilling life

Viva la Vida -- Coldplay

2011-06-23T20:42:00.001+08:00

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

If We Are The Body - Casting Crowns

2011-06-20T22:03:00.001+08:00

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ

2011-05-17T19:59:00.001+08:00

happy birthday wangleehom!!

2011-05-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

Currently at t3 macs studying with cherylsong
My brain feels like dying voluntarily...
It can't take apps, no it can't.. It's protesting everytime I look at my bio apps notes :(
Hahaha -.-

Anyway!
I rlly love to eat!
And I met vylan recently to share some stuff abt what's going on in our lives etc, and I'm rlly super encouraged and challenged by his life and experiences w God!
Yknow he depends on God for the littlest things, his 2.4 run, tests, family stuff etc..
I think I sometimes depend on myself, and give up, too often..
I've failed to see how God can be included in my daily boring routing
Like maybe God can help me stay energetic and not restless during lectures and that I won't sleep!
I think I rlly can depend more on God's strength and sustenance
Today I tried praying to God to get myself to not sleep during lecture..
And I didn't sleeeeeeeep!! Hahah quite cool rlly, it was rlly God-moment for me..
Cos I kinda am alw tired and sleep at least 10mins in every lecture :/
Yuppp, rlly so inspired by vylan!
Imparted some ideas for my shepherding and fasting habits as well.. :)
So currently I'm on a twitter and meal fast!
Oh and I think twitter is rlly kinda detrimental to a person's spiritual health, if we rely too much on it..
Personal opinion..
It's like, we tend to tweet stuff instead of praying them
We tend to conclude and give an opinion on matters, rather than allowing God's word to intervene and teach us how to think and behave..
Yeaaa I am so guilty! So byebye twitterrrrrr

Just wld like to say, I rlly wanna get closer to God..
Be sharper in my spirit so that I can experience and hear frm God more
Yupp..

And I rlly look forward to postAs where I'll work my butt off and earn a lot of moolah $$ so that I can go for many overseas conferences(colours, planetshakers, hillsong) to rlly experience the Holy Spirit in a different manner/style
am earning $$ to bring my mum w me too! Rlly hope that her spiritual eyes will be opened as she experience God there.. Yeaaaa
And I wanna see joelhouston!!
If I don't see him, I'll die
Seriously
Hahahha

Ok byebye
Chias I miss you!!

the issue w believers

2011-05-08T16:52:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cncEhCvrVgQ
was watching this sermon video by Paul Washer.
thank God for him, seriously
we need a voice like that out there,
a reminder like that every single day
this is not a message to non-believers
it is to believers

ppl don't preach this to kill your joy
for their own pleasure
no, ppl preach this to get you saved
it is a fact that not all 'christians' are gonna spend the rest of eternity w God
why do we hear this and react
not primarily to the message,
but react in defense cos we think we're being judged?

Solution - Hillsong United

2011-05-03T23:04:00.004+08:00

It is not a human right
To stare not fight
While broken nations dream
Open up our eyes, so blind
That we might find
The mercy for the need

Singing,
Hey now
Fill our hearts with Your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession

It is not too far a cry
To much to try
To help the least of these
Politics will not decide
If we should rise
And be Your hands and feet

Woah-oh-oh,
God be the solution
Woah-oh-oh
We will be Your hands and be Your feet

Higher than all circumstance
Your promise stands
Your love for all to see
Higher than protest line and dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Only You can mend the broken heart
And cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinner's past
And set the captives free

Only You can take the widows cry
And cause her heart to sing
Be a Father to the fatherless
Our Savior and our King

We will be Your hands, we will be Your feet
We will run this race
In the darkest place, we will be Your light
We will be Your light
We'll sing

AMEN AMEN AMEN!
for Your will we'll kneel or even die..
cos God is worth everything, more than that
this is not being extreme,
it's GOD we're talking abt
teach and help me to be a better servant and child,
that i may bring You praise and let Your will be done
amen:)

annyeonghaseyo i still adore joelhouston

2011-05-03T22:25:00.006+08:00

currently listening to the sermon link that tzelin sent me!
it's about how we must love ourselves, just like how God says in the Bible,
to love others as we love ourselves
http://www.elimbristol.org/loving-god-loving-myself-loving-others/

anyway,
thank God alot for yaxin and yujun..
hahaha God knows why...:)

i think there are alot of things for me to uncover and grow out of,
things that i never thought i had to or even had an issue with
hahahah surprising actually
i mean i've been told a million zillion gazillion times to learn to be humble, to not be judgemental, to be slow to anger etc
but i mean this is the very first time someone told me that my weaknesses can be turned into strengths
my whole life i've been reprimanded for my weaknesses
always getting so guilty whenever i sin in those moments of my weakness
ok i'm really thankful for yujun for saying all these to me,
speaking truths into my life
you made me realise that God is really capable of life-transforming(in a v different way)
rather than the conventional, minimizing our weaknesses and growing in our strengths
but i think i'm actually quite unsure of what's going to happen hahaha
ehhhhh but i really hope i can grow and experience for myself how God can really transform and use me even more
i want to grow and be used more, not for myself
i want to
becos i wanna know and experience firsthand the glory and power of God Almighty, and to be used to extend this knowledge to His other children, to bless as i'm blessed, to love as i'm loved
i want to see God's kingdom come and His glory on earth

anyways
thank God for yaxin, she has been a great friend who has been there for me
thanks for always hearing me out, giving me valuable advices and speaking hard truths into my life
wanna grow to be a better friend to you as well, being more accountable to each other etc
this is what friends(in the Lord) are for:)
looking forward to growing and serving more w you! <3

lalalala
i can't really concentrate on what i'm writing cos i'm listening to the sermon hahaha..
ok shall really pen down my thoughts better next time :(
BAIBAI

the Lord is my shepherd

2011-04-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

I feel like just fastforwarding my days and be in the post-As period now..
I just wanna do simple stuff like sitting on a super long bus ride home, gazing out of the window at night
Or reading a book at home..
But there's a time for everything
I guess now's the time to work hard and give my best for studies
But I can't hide the fact that I'm not totally enjoying it
I mean I do like studying..
But every time when I fail to answer a question cos I totally don't understand what it's asking for
Or look at my long list of to-dos
I feel so...
God I need braincells and joy
Let me enjoy failing and learning even more
To be single-minded abt and focused on what I'm supposed to do at this pt of time
Remind me that I'm a child of God who's a student,
Not a student who happens to be a child of God
Help me to be a better steward of my time, talent(if I have any -.-), money and energy
Let me be more involved mentally, physically and spiritually in all my ministries
Lg, intercession, evaxing, studies, family and building myself..
Got to fall deeper in love with You and be more changed by Your love and grace,
Be more loving towards and prayerful for the people I know,
Wiser in the battles I fight,
Struggle more powerfully in whatever weaknesses I have,
And more faithful with what I'm given already

Cos You are my shepherd, I shall not be in want
I shall be contented with whatever I'm blessed w and complain no more,
Covet after nothing,
But to grow in You
And see more of Your promises and power realised in my life

Aiyooooooo help me thankyou thankyou!!

2011-04-19T14:18:00.000+08:00

n our hearts, Lord, in this nation
Awakening
Holy Spirit, we desire
Awakening

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

In Your presence, in Your power
Awakening
For this moment, for this hour
Awakening

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

Like the rising sun that shines
From the darkness comes a light
I hear Your voice and this is my
Awakening

forever i'm humbled by Your love

2011-04-14T20:34:00.004+08:00

Like An Avalanche - Hillsong United
Beautiful God
Laying Your majesty aside
You reached out in love to show me life
Lifted from darkness into light

King for a slave
Trading Your righteousness for shame
Despite all my pride and foolish ways
Caught in Your infinite embrace

And I find myself here on my knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compares to this love love love

Saviour and Friend
Breathing Your life into my heart
Your word is the lamp unto my path
Forever I'm humbled by Your love

Take my life
Take all that I am
With all that I am I will love You
Take my heart
Take all that I have
Jesus how I adore You

i mean every single word i sing unto You
love this song soooo much
looped it the whole day today^^

i'm open to discipleship, covenanted relationships, evaluations but not needless comments and judgings,
just saying..

and yesterday i experienced what it meant by
whoever refreshes others will be refreshed - Psalm 11:25
:) i love yongmu and hock soon alot!!

more of You & less of me

2011-04-10T17:40:00.003+08:00

gotta take time to pace myself,
to remind myself the biblical truths that i wanna live by
how God will add upon us as we be faithful with what we alr have
how to pick the right battles to fight
knowing that loving is giving without expecting anything in return(i think i expect reciprocation too often:/)
taking time to love others more and be sensitive to their needs, putting them above myself
there's no time to feel awkward, inferior or unworthy.. gotta do more than what i'm doing, with more of God's presence and wisdom

use me to do so much more
i don't wanna be inward-looking,
struggling with my own insecurities, pride or bad temper
but let me look onto You
and allow annointing and peace to flow..
that's all i ever wished for in my life

i feel like switching to my tumblr :/
hahahah

2011-04-05T20:51:00.003+08:00

i wanna sing and dance on the streets like no one's looking,
singing that my Dad owns the streets
hahaha
i'll sing my praises and dance around
singing without a perfect pitch and to no particular tune
dance a thousand million miles
and i'll smile for the remaining days of my life..

still gotta learn so much..
remind me to always look onto You
to remain humble
to sit at Your feet to love what You love, hate what You hate
do what You would have done

now i really can't see the end
but i know that in a year's time i'll be looking back and knowing that You've done so many miracles in my life
forgive me when i fail so many times
being self-righteous, prideful, irritable and all
i hate my tendency to roll my eyes, my sarcasm, my judgemental spirit towards others, my self-centredness..
but i love You
help me become a little more like the person You created me to be

anyway,
yay i have two very nice notebooks to write my qt stuff and plan my days ahead weeeeee
i love my notebooks and my fat hamster!!!
hahahaha
and i think music can seriously influence someone,
sway their emotions...
like when i'm totally sound i would just totally adore taeyang but nothing else
when they play some emo music, i mean when i see taeyang or jiyong i'll be like omgosh i wanna marry you now hahahhahaha
must really be wise with what music i listen to..

true heartcry of a worshipper

2011-03-30T21:59:00.007+08:00

From The Inside Out - Hillsong United

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing You praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out

My soul cries out to You
My soul cries out to You
to You, to You

not to be biased, but joelhouston sang so well for this song:)
annointed....

anyways, i've come to realise that many a times we just feel like staying in God's presence aka worship and not leave cos it just feels so peaceful and literally a step away from heaven's doors
but i guess, unless we really experience life, as mundance as it may be,
life with God inside
seeing how God can work through mundanity,
we will fail to experience the truth of the gospel, the power of God and the Holy Spirit
and that is how we can really sing praises of truth to God during p&w, &experience God so much more!
i mean look at the people in the Bible, they go through life and its mundanity as well
but yet what makes them/all of us different from the other ppl who are just going through life as it is
is that when we choose to go through it with God, we'll then become truly intimate with God
& be able to do powerful and supernatural things w Him
hahahah yeaaaaa...

and anyways, regarding my recent decision(s),
albeit the costs i definitely have to pay,
(cos every decision has a sacrifice)
i think i probably won't have to explain to everyone abt my rationale
but to those who may be concerned and are reading this(which is super duper unlikely hahahah)
i'll take responsibility for my own actions/decisions and prove to you that this is a right decision cos it is to serve God and to love people..
hold me accountable that i'll use my time wisely!!
i guess since now the decisions are made, the only thing we can do is to well, support and hold me accountable for what i've decided eh?

and what holds me together
is that i know i am loving and serving God,
that He loves and holds me together
and that i have ppl running the same race alongside me
i have hope, peace and urgency
(trying my best)keeping in step w God
to know that i'm in step with and serving His will
God is loving, God's will is noble
nothing more worthy than God and His kingdom

recent talks abt our future careers and the mad rush abt t3as..
actually i just wanna do the things i was created to do,
even if ppl think i'm just out of line or an under-achiever
well.. i'm honestly honestly honestly very happy doing what i'm doing now
believe it or not, though i have nothing to my name(seriously lol)

Your kingdom come, Your will be done!!
my greatest ambition is to take part in this
in my little ways

how easy/difficult is it to love God?
it is as easy as a decision made,
as difficult as a focus misplaced.

2011-03-23T21:52:00.002+08:00

wang lee hom is seriously super talented, charismatic and everything good put together
hahahhahaha
everytime he sings, my heart just melts hahahhahaa!

God! why do you make me fall for old guys!
hahhahahahha joelhouston's 32 and wangleehom's 35
:/ hahahahhahaha
ok stress relief hahahah

2011-03-17T21:14:00.001+08:00

my prayer has always been..
God i yield all that i am just to be righteous in Your sight

mindless rant, don't take me seriously

2011-03-15T23:52:00.003+08:00

God, why can't we ppl be just a tad nicer?
a tad better
just like how we wish we can be
i don't understand why we are so annoying
why am i so annoying
we do things we dislike
then we look back and sigh to ourselves
why do we raise our hands in worship and pray your truths
but do stuffs that are just so incredibly annoying and disturbing
where has sanity and sound judgement gone to

it is a fact, i don't like who i am, what i do, how i am..

or maybe i'm just not looking at things in a hopeful manner
whatever..
just so fed up with how things are in the present
i don't need no counselling
i just need people arnd me who are still faithfully, persistently and humbly clinging on to God, demonstrating that their struggles, but also promises to God are real
hope i can be this person

God is so so good

2011-03-09T22:29:00.006+08:00

random thoughts off the top of my head,
i love watching Royal Pains, Prison Break, How I Met Your Mother and Gossip Girl
aaaaaaaaaaaah so damn relaxing to watch these shows
especially HIMYM, honestly it's so funny, lollllllllll stress-relieving
and i'm not free enough to download the songs i wanna listen to :(
i've been sick for close to a month :/
God :( hate mucus/phlegm
i think caffeine no longer works for me :/ gosh so i have to peel and eat apples now? no way, so time-consuming
erm and i'm still infatuated with joelhouston despite his horrible hair

omgosh honestly as i'm typing now i feel this weird sensation at my lower back
is my liver dying or something lol
or is it just due to my period lolllll
ohwells I WANNA SLEEP MORE
but in fact, i'm getting what i need..
surprisingly, the decrease in number of hours i sleep din contribute to the dark circles around my eyes(praise God? lol)

anyways i just really wanted to remember the people who have been so good to me lately
jolyn.... jolyn is so kind and compassionate i can't stand it lol
she offered to tutor me chem.. gosh thanks so much, you're such a blessing
cheryl. gosh we havent been arguing, i'm so thankful for that. and i'm really encouraged by how driven and hardworking you have been lately:) let's make the best out of what we have
kiat. just met up with him today for dinner&koi and i think he's really grown quite a bit. proud of you and really happy to see you growing to be more sentimental(normal) and all..
eline. you've been a great encouragement and friend:) you're so nonsensical it really lightens my mood no matter where and when:)
seanmulyadisiman. i went to his house and OMGOSH O.O i know i keep exclaiming this but why the heck is your house so big?! ok not like uberuberuberuber big, but it's uber big alright. lolllll you've been a great bro, listening to my rants and sharing your life... aaaaah love you..
qiya roch &yiping. always make me so glad and heartened to see us in this race together.. we gotta grow tgt.. it's painful to go through things alone. let's share our burdens and run alongside God :)
sheryl. lol i guess being sick really helped us get a lil closer :) love talking to/complaining with you hahahah
last but not least, to those who offer to speak into my life.. i really appreciate it. no matter how black my face can be initially.. thank you..

hahah ohwells
and God..
You've been so good to me...
supplying strength, being my motivation, reminding me of Your promises and
You always make it easier for me to breathe..
really..
i know You're always with me.. i can literally feel You..
gosh can't be grateful enough
God pls protect my liver or whatsoever that's feeling so weird right now
and keep me awake and humble.. lol
let me be one of those who will run back and thank You for whatever You've done and how good You've been
blessed to bless

help me bless others haha...despite my weaknesses and limitations etc
anyways I SHALL GO SLEEP COS MY LIVER OR WHATSOEVER FEELS WEIRD
bye vectors4 and photosynthesis tutorial :/ i tried and i failed and i can't afford to try again, i need to save my liver
byebyeeeee

Shout Unto God - Hillsong United

The enemy has been defeated
And death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make Your praises loud

Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
We lift Your name up
We lift Your name up

2011-03-01T23:27:00.003+08:00

gotta stretch myself even more... :/
have been so busy i really need time to just settle myself down and have some time on my own
without having to worry that i've not done my tutorials, summaries, notes etc
cos the fact is.. there's always work to be done :/
okkkkkk this sat morning before service i shall wake up early to take time for myself(at somewhere cheap)!!!

what i've been up to these few days..
studying, giving tuition to kids, guitar-ing(lol)...
i've also been sleeping lesser to devote more time to what's essential
it's kind of challenge to me since i always felt like at least 8 hours of sleep is vital for me or i'll turn wonky and malfunction throughout the next day
but turns out, i can totally survive on 6/5/4 hours of sleep with a lil help from coffee consumption
and doing the things i know i need to do gives me spiritual contentment in a sense that i know i'm not not giving my best in the areas i'm supposed to
and also putting effort in areas where i can bless others in
but of course, i still can't complete ALL my homework etc
i feel a tinge of guilt, but i know i've given my best.. or at least continuously try to
so this is kinda considered a breakthrough for me, going beyond comfort to do what i have to do
i'm sure God is smiling.. even if it isn't a big deal for many erm insomnia-prone ppl out there

anyways and i think God really is blessing me!!
in regards to what i've been fasting about which i can't really share hahaha, lest the person involved knows
but God is really revealing to me alot, and i'm learning to be a better friend and influence to advance the KOG

but i have to admit i still have to grow in so many other areas... :/
like better time management
lol i failed to read the books i borrowed twice from the schl library, so i just returned them in the end
erm more humility, being less judgemental of being arnd me
and lol being less irritable
i am so irritable in schl, seriously
:/ after each time i complain or get annoyed
i just feel so guilty.... hai okokok
this passage realy spoke to me to stop it :/

Colossians 3

He Is Your Life
1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.
3-4Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

5-8And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

9-11Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

12-14So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
15-17Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

18Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.

19Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don't take advantage of them.

20Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end.

21Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.

22-25Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work.

ok i will try :/
thou shall try to not complain so much
AND I'M STILL SICK
FLU IS HORRIBLE TRUST ME

anyways yeaaaaa
boring update of the boring life of karenhoustoncai

i wanna write/reply emails/cards to so many ppl :/
I NEED TIMEEEEEEEE

but anyways, i'm still joyful
and i really pray the joy stays in me as i look to God daily
You must be greater...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh lol

random

2011-02-17T22:08:00.005+08:00

karenkwoncai shld learn how to get outta her comfort zone even more
love even more
be even more self-disciplined
love schl even more
be single-minded even more
focus on God even more
have better memory
eat lesser
dance more
be humble
and love my hamster even more
and my sis
and my mum

this year has been more God-filled so far..
and i'm really thankful for that

God, my God,
You're more than enough for me...

2011-02-17T20:40:00.003+08:00

Lord i'm amazed by You..
actually You need not do more great things in my life to let me appreciate that
today was just an ordinary day
any ordinary day with a not so ordinary God

it's really quite difficult to get your ideas/pt/belief across to an ought-not-to-be-that-secular person hmmmm
if you get what i mean

2011-02-16T01:11:00.002+08:00

ok this is a retarded post after posting so many posts below hahaha
anyways A F T E R M A T H album is outttt
awesome songs :)
i love like an avalanche and take heart
hmm but personally i think Beautiful Exchange was a better album
hahah but whatever :)
really gottta honour and thank God for Hillsong United
super talented and annointed :)

point is,
i'm up awake at 1am cos i can't sleep
and i just wanna say i love joelhouston
like goshhhhhhhhhhh
hahahahha

okay that was not really the point hahaha

i'm excited for the new lg structure with all the new y5s!
wanna know them more individually,
shall not practice favouritism!
and really look forward to growing more with kellie
&my spiritul buddies :)

i'm super grateful towards James and Chialing...
was really quite sad during the unit farewell and the send-off
it made me feel like those ppl who impacted me have left
kim, tzelin, james, quankai etc
okay but it kinda means i have to open myself up and let more ppl impact me?
hahah if you get what i mean..

i'm jumping here and there but
i gotta learn to make the right decisions
direction determines destination!!!!
don't make a wrong turn..
learnt enough lessons regarding these

and i love and care for so many many ppl..
those i have in mind like right now,
eline, kiat, jiayi, kellie, rochelle, yiping, qiya, zhengkai
will pray for yall!

2011-02-16T00:54:00.003+08:00

through these weeks i've learn to be more humble
that God gives you situations to really help you grow
it's inevitable to struggle, or else it wouldn't be a test,
but bottom line is
are we still gonna say
yes God i surrender,
have Your way, Your will be done
the most common miracles are the miracles where ppl
stubborn and wilful,
decide to submit to God's ways,
to understand and believe that God's ways are higher than their ways,
and they choose to obey, to humbly wait upon God,
and to acknowledge that God is enough, He's more than enough,
He's all i need to live, Jesus is enough for me
that itself, is the most common miracle we ourselves can choose to participate in
are you waiting too long for a spectacular miracle, a call from heaven
that you've become blind and deaf to the common miracles that you can make happen?
listen to God, obey God
how many times had He warned us,
do not be ever hearing but never perceiving,
foolish is the man who hears the Word but allows the world to steal it away even before it'll bear fruit

obeying and following God doesn't mean all things will go well,
in fact, it will not
Job 2:10 Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?
i've settled and instructed my heart to receive trouble, pain and suffering..
to delight in the days i get to spend my troubled days with my God,
to sit next to my God and cry as He collects and count my tears..
what about you?

wake up from spiritual slumber,
listen to God and repent from your sinful ways
good is not good enough, be godly
godliness will save you, nothing else
salvation can be lost if you're not active in your faith and love,
do you know?
come back to God,
He loves you

don't just dream

2011-02-16T00:40:00.004+08:00

and think.. for those of us who said we wanna do church-planting
what would you do to outreach and bring the love of God to ppl in that country/state?
you're imagining it,
and it seems kind of plausible for a moment

but are we doing what we've imagine in our schl right now?

the way i imagine myself to conquer a country w God, for God
kinda may seem different from what i'm doing wherever i am now

if you can't conquer the present,
don't dream about conquering the future

whatever it is,
depend on God's strength and grace
rise up with passion and selfless faith

you want a big community in your schl?
you build it, you find the ppl,
you lead them, you teach them,
you lift them up on your shoulders and honour them

don't just dream,
do something radical
something sacrificial, something Jesus would have done

you wanna be more like Jesus,
here's your chance

(in view of all my weaknesses and comfort zone, i admit, i still can't do all that i wished i could, but i'm following You step by step, let You do something great in me)
bottom line, God's will and love above all

i will love You..

2011-02-16T00:16:00.001+08:00

And I find myself here on my knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compares to this love love love

Take my life
Take all that I am
With all that I am I will love You
Take my heart
Take all that I have
Jesus how I adore You

James, all the best!

take heart

2011-02-04T22:14:00.000+08:00

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failure
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome
All our heartache
And all our pain
God our healer
He has overcome

All our burdens
And all our shame
God our freedom
He has overcome

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failures
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome

God our justice
God our grace
God our freedom
He has overcome

God our refuge
God our strength
God is with us
He has overcome

happy cny :)

2011-02-03T12:42:00.004+08:00

many things happened,
not the best
but for the best

we hate toilet pics as much as you -.-
ha, ohwells :):)

and thanks, chias..
thank you v much
wonder if you'll read this
i'm not v good with words,
but thank you :)

2011-01-09T16:46:00.001+08:00

what God really spoke to me about the new year was to fix my eyes upon intangible rewards, to be single-minded & set apart for His purpose
in the new year i really hope to run a good race and make 2011 a much more God-filled one than 2010!
by grace and faith!!

2010-12-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

Happiest day of the year :)
Merry Christmas
Dear God,
Thank You for the gift of salvation
And many other great presents
Thank You for soulmates
And covenanted friendships
Hope You're happy this day with salvation of Your many other children

undeserved grace

2010-12-23T20:16:00.003+08:00

this year,
i
met some people whom i hope i'd never met
known some things which i hope i'd never knwon
did some things which i hope i'd never done

but yet You remain the same
and i'm eternally grateful to You

many people i'll be eternally grateful to, throughout my entire life
You, kim, tzelin, chialing, cheryl, yiping, denise, yaxin, karmen, sean, jolyn, ruiting
thank yall for loving and being so faithful as a friend/shepherd to me even in my ugliest moments
& this is Love

merry christmas :)

2010-12-19T22:57:00.001+08:00

keep first things first and you'll have all the rest in place
keep first things second and you'll lose everything you have

2010-12-05T11:22:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCSjog5qelA
gosh this is like one of the best hillsong worship
joelhouston pls pls pls marry me :(

and and and
dongwoon and i were breathing the same air like yesterday?!
gosh and i din even know
goshhhhhhhhh
lol whatever
looking forward to camp!!

2010-12-03T22:45:00.003+08:00

it will come to pass, no matter how unlikely that seems
i thank You for fearfully and wonderfully creating me
i thank You for You
sorry, but don't hold against me whatever i've done when i was/am downright foolish and stupid alright?
i'll fall
but i promise You i'll hold Your hand and pick myself up again, always

ANYWAYS
gosh i'm craving gongcha's pearls!

was enchanted to meet you

2010-12-01T00:10:00.004+08:00

yall are always capable of making my whole world light up with just a word or smile

qiya, thanks for always being a strong yet gentle person in my life. asserting both soft and tough love, really appreciate you :)
yiping, thanks for being always there to hear me out and trusting me with the littlest details of your life. appreciate you for trusting me so much :)
rochelle, thanks for being always so sweet and understanding, willing to hear me out always and being such a strong girl. you GMH and inspire me much :)
cheryl, thanks for being ever eager to grow and go through thick&thin with me, entrusting me with all your thoughts and motives :)

soulmates i love yall, from the very bottom of my heart
am always here for yall and i'll never let any of you go..
i'll try my best to love and not fail yall, though i do sometimes
wanna walk from earth to heaven with yall :)

One Of Us

2010-11-30T16:24:00.000+08:00

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets

alot alot of hope

2010-11-26T22:57:00.001+08:00

kellie,
you GMH :)

family tragedy

2010-11-25T23:04:00.003+08:00

hmmm
have known you for about 2 yrs now
yet how much do you know me?
oh but how much do i know you too?
it's always the same few lines i hear
now i don't bother explaining to you anymore
yup if you say you're sorry
all i can say is that i've become used to all these rubbish
alright
so what do you call this?

a family tragedy

no more rubbish

2010-11-23T01:04:00.000+08:00

Like the sun that rises everyday,
You are so faithful. Lord, You are faithful.
Like the rain that You send,
And every breath that I breathe,
You are so faithful, Lord

Like the rose that comes alive every spring,
You are so faithful. Lord, You are faithful.
Like the life that You give,
to every beat of my heart,
You are so faithful, Lord.

I see the cross and the price You had to pay,
I see the blood that washed my sins away.

In the midst of the storm
through the wind and the waves,
You'll still be faithful, You'll still be faithful,
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more,
You'll still be faithful,
You'll still be faithful, Lord.

help me G

2010-11-22T23:57:00.003+08:00

everything in me is horrible
i admit
yes i suck for now

what can i say?
what can i do?

i foresee trouble
and myself screwing my life again
hmmmmm
let's see...

but whatever it is
i really really really love my lg, every single person in it
and my sheep and shepherd

cai take your 10mins off

2010-11-21T10:37:00.004+08:00

pls put in more effort into your lifeeeeeeee
more effort more effort
more time more time
plssssssssss
for this life is Yours
You deserve my best and more

let all my delight be in You Lord
all of my hope and all of my strength

SHEPHERD MSCHEWYTZELIN I MISS YOU V MUCH:(

2010-11-19T12:07:00.002+08:00

okay this is totally random
i can totally marry taeyang or joelhouston seriously
HAHA whatever

anyways
WORK IS FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
and not boring at all
i remember i was so worried that the people there would be very unfriendly or unhelpful etc
but i prayed and yea thank God really,
the ppl there were really really really too nice
adeline sherlyn yvonna
awwwwwwww i don't feel like moving to taka alr :(
wanna work with yall!
it's the ppl that determine the working environment i guess
gosh will miss them :(

ok i shall set up a to-do list for my hols soon :)
reading books, working, resting, shepherdings, shopping, dancing(?), and most definitely, studying

alrightie bye i love dongwoon taeyang joelhouston jiyong v much

2010-11-16T19:39:00.004+08:00

ok i shall slack no longer..
have slacked for a week

random stuffs
aiyo my feet very pain
i love karmen denise yaxin heheheeee
and i love kellie very much :)
will protect you frm evil forces via prayer and presence hahaha

SOHN DONG WOON
WHY ARE YOU SO GOODLOOKING AND CUTE :(

CUTE CUTE CUTE

when silence falls

2010-11-14T11:23:00.000+08:00

when hope is lost
i call You Saviour
when pain surrounds
i call You Healer
when silence falls
You'll be the song within my heart

when the laughter fails to comfort
when my heart aches, Lord You'll be there
when confusion is all around me
and the darkness is my closest friend
still i'll praise You

but You love me even now

2010-11-11T00:16:00.007+08:00

well you gotta love others
but you also gotta learn to choose to love yourself even more
becos others don't

friday
and we'll sort things out
sorry Dad..

Dear Mr God - Warren Brothers

dear mr God,
i’m writing You today
because it seems like lately
i’ve forgotten how to pray
i know i don’t need this pen
but everybody likes to get
a letter now and then
i’m sorry for not writing more

cause i need You
but it’s hard to see
why anyone as big as You
needs anything from me
i know You’re there
so how ya been?
i’m alright but i can’t lie,
sometimes i feel like giving in
You’re all i’ve got

dear mr God,
sometimes i wish
You lived next door
so over coffee You could tell me
what You started all this for
i guess You saw
that sunrise yesterday
thanks for the reminder
that You’ve never gone away
it gives me hope
telling You what You already know

dear mr God,
tell me do You ever cry
when we forget to thank You
for the good things in our lives?
i know i can’t always understand
why You do the things You do
but i know in the end
i’ll make it through
if i stand next to You
so here i am

do You know that i've cried way more than before i knew You?

but You see the real me
hiding in my skin, broken from within
unveil me completely
i'm loosening my grasp
there's no need to mask my frailty
cause You see the real me
and You love me just as i am
wonderful, beautiful is what You see
when You look at me

2010-11-07T20:26:00.006+08:00

i like reading ppl's thoughts.
raw and reflected thoughts.
cos they'll seem more human and real.
point is, i've just found a new leader's blog to follow and read^^
it really lifted my spirits and comforted me to know that ppl, even well-known leaders, do face the same issues
and that we have the same thought process
just that he has penned them down, meaning the incidents are all over
well really glad to have chanced upon his blog :D
LOL byebye dreamist
after tuesday i shall sit at starbucks for a whole day just to read all his recent and past blogposts
i can't wait for tues to be over!
i'm better now, i just needed
ppl who care to care
time to get over disappointments
realignment of vision
taking away expectations placed upon ppl(sad process though lol)
solitude
time alone, maybe sometimes just on my own without You
to learn to ignore ppl who says senseless and insensitive comments
unlearn some stuffs i've learnt
time away from ppl
shedding some tears
and knowing that You still do care..

well for those who think it's just some karen moment AGAIN,
lol this is for you
those who care don't really mind
but those who mind don't really care
yes lol shooting arrows at youuuuuu
hahahah

great time to see who really cares yea?
and these are some times where i tell myself that becos there are ppl who talk too much and not do much
i wanna grow and make the church a better place
ppl who will really love God and His ppl

2010-11-06T22:48:00.003+08:00

this time i really feel like giving up
since many arnd are giving up too
well
not much to hold on to anyways
yes i know You love me
lol but Your ppl don't
sorry but i hate church dramas
this time i really don't know whether i'll say yes or no

dear Mr God,

2010-11-04T23:05:00.005+08:00

sometimes i really want to ask You so many questions..
but knowing that i'll only get a sentence or a zillion questions back at me,
i've learnt to hold my case

so.. have you...?
have i...?
when can i...?
will i ever...?
what do i do...?

and fyi,
you don't come to church to form cliques
lol
ya tell me about how deep your friendships are aye

islYvm

2010-11-02T17:54:00.004+08:00

shall set my eyes on greater things,
if you get what i mean hahahhaha
love my usher teammmmmmmmmmmmm
hope op will be alright
goodbye loser of my life
i really love and thank God for great friends in my life,
people like zhiting sheryl neam and grace
really really really feel so at home and comforted when i'm with any of you
now i can't see any of you so often anymore.. sadddddddd love yall, really :)

God
sorry, so sorry
shld have always kept my eyes fixed upon you
shall guard my heart super hard from now on
love and serve You
and take care of Your flock
forgive and restore me?

You Can Have Me - Sidewalk Prophets

2010-10-15T21:57:00.003+08:00

if i saw You on the street
and You said come and follow me
but i had to give up everything
all i once held dear and all of my dreams
would i love You enough to let go
or would my love run dry
when You asked for my life

when did love become unmoving?
when did love become unconsuming?
forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

if You’re all You claim to be
then i’m not losing anything
so i will crawl upon my knees
just to know the joy of suffering
i will love You enough to let go
Lord, i give You my life
i give You my life

i want to be where You are
i’m running into Your arms
and i will never look back
so Jesus, here is my heart

anna, annabiel

2010-10-15T20:52:00.001+08:00

You always find me
Godddddddddd i am super ungracious :(

More Than Life

stand by everything You said
stand by the promises we made
let go of everything i've done
i'll run into Your open arms
and all i know

i love You more than life
i love You more than life

fall back on everything You've done
fall back on everlasting arms
when all the world is swept away
You are all the things i need
You're the air i breathe

i love You more than life
i love You more than life

how can it be
You were the one on the cross
lifted for all our shame?
how can it be
the scars in Your hands are for me?
You are the king of all

2010-10-06T19:31:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYZKZfdr3ac
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87cpPjNkrVE
use my hands and feet to make a difference
heart's so heavy... let my life not be just abt me myself and i contrary to popular belief

2010-10-04T22:51:00.002+08:00

others may not hear me or understand the things i say, but You do.
John 10:27 -- My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me.
Karen 10:27(LOL) -- my shepherd listens to my voice; He knows me and He understands me full well.
thank God for understanding me, even in times when i refuse to speak a word.

Psalm 139:1-6

O Lord, You have searched me and You know me.
You know when i sit and when i rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways.
before a word is on my tongue, You know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in—behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.
such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

stop the pity partyyyyy

2010-10-03T13:17:00.004+08:00

what pulled me out was God telling me that i know i have all the answers, i know i CAN be more than this cos He has shown me how things can not be this way. He opened my eyes to see more than myself. beyond my self-pity, my judgements, my likes&dislikes, my theories, my weaknesses etc. i remember from one sermon, the person preaching said, "why are we so mindful of the nitty gritty things amongst ourselves when there are so many people out there that have not even heard of God?"
my life cannot just be about "oh i feel sad, i feel worthless, people judge me, i need grace, whosoever's always like that, why can't they be like that, why can't i be like that, why can't blablablablabla yadayadayada.."
have to focus on things greater and better..
doesn't matter how i may seem in the eyes of people whom i don't even know or maybe those i do know. what matters is living for One. undivided and focused.
there's this saying that differentiates immature and mature love.
immatured love: i need you, so i love you
matured love: i love you, so i need you
i always thought like, i have to rise above immature love and love God in a matured way..
but yesterday during worship God spoke to me about this. how can i ever consider myself fully matured in my love towards God? i love You, so i need You? do i think i am that great that i can love God so i need God? whatever the case is.. i need God. who cares whether our love for God is mature or immature. who but man has ever tried classifying love? love is love. love is as itself. love may not be perfect but as long as you love God, you're always willing to learn and try again. wanting to be desperate for Him when you realise you're not. how can i ever think of myself as wanting to love God maturedly? i love God, simple as that. love makes one matured, it is not maturity that can perfect love.
above everything, thank You for loving me and always picking me up.. i'll always run back to You and always ask for more and more grace..
& thank God for sending me friends.. more than just acquaintances, leaders or far-away inspirers, but friends

2010-10-01T17:42:00.003+08:00

OMGOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JAEJOONG IS COMING TO SINGAPOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
PISAI TINY SINGAPORE OMGOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
CAN YOU BELIEVE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
OMGOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'M SCREAMING LIKE CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
AND JIYONG IS COMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
JIYONG JIYONG JIYONG JIYONG
LIKE THE LOVE OF MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
OMGOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THIS IS A MIRACLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
TAEYANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
OMGOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THIS IS CRAZY HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

dear God,

2010-09-28T20:31:00.003+08:00

help me to love those who are unloved, who are so difficult to love..
help me to pray when i feel like crying, whining, sleeping to escape reality, when i feel guilty, jealous, angry, revengeful, sad, lost
help me to let go...

those whom i pray for will be kept in my heart and on my mind.

2010-09-24T11:43:00.001+08:00

God come and be the one i love and desire the most
the one who's not in this world but so near
come and be..

2010-09-22T21:45:00.003+08:00

random updates

loving the song This Girl by Laza
last shepherding with tzelin yesterday :(
and i can't send her off... which makes me so sad...
farewell was GREAT but tiring but GREAT
cheryl and i went studying and bought a whole black pepper chicken to eat hahahah
and imma get waterbaptised!!! annabiel~~~ anna=grace, abiel=God is my Father, omgosh love the name
bigbang coming to singapore in a month's time omgosh imma scream my head off when i see jiyong and taeyang!!!!!!!!!
anyways love my friends family^^

The Real Me - Natalie Grant

2010-09-20T15:29:00.001+08:00

Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me

JTH's 31!

2010-09-19T22:24:00.006+08:00

gosh i din keep track of joelhouston's birthday gosh i am a phail fan

happy belated birthday!!
gonna marry you some day, just wait
hahahhahahahahaha
LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
thanks for great music and keeping me glad whenever i stare a lil at my phone

2010-09-08T13:00:00.002+08:00

omgosh so good looking and talented
love you wangleehom
i love love love your songs till this day 8D

i am a mugpig

2010-08-30T21:26:00.004+08:00

man i've got to study like a pig from now on..
sleeping at 12 or later from now on :(
ohwells things will get better after promos!

my shepherd is leaving :(:(
i will miss you :(
very much :(

shall not procrastinate.
bio-transcription, translation, replication, econs- chapter 7 by today!
hopefully...

can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
100% man 100% God
imma cog that's a student
not just a pathetic student mugging my brains out
jiayou manzxzxz

when karen is very free

2010-08-19T21:27:00.005+08:00

omgosh me love jonghyun and onewwwwwwwww

and 2pm <3

2 favourite boys :D

love of my life

hahahahahha omgosh today my class was playing this retarded childhood game that got us going crazy hahahhahahah. love being retarded sometimes.
ohwell gotta study for math and econs test and bio spa next week.
jiayou manzxzxzxzxz.
thank you God for great ppl around like gracelim zhiting szeyuen sheryl etc :)
loving my family, both biological and spiritual <3
and i love You the most :)

keep Your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. then will i be blameless, innocent of great transgression. Psalm 19:13

p.s actually i'm not very free.. hmmm

heart mind soul & strength

2010-08-15T22:24:00.003+08:00

karen needs to sleep drink soup study and fall sick naooooooo
zzzzzzzz
0.3 more degree celsius burn burn burn!!!
7 more sets of notes...
omgosh jiayoujiayoujiayou!

do not the things you desire and love but the things He desires and loves.

2010-08-11T19:56:00.003+08:00

i know God says do not judge..
it's very difficult for me.
sometimes i can't tell between right and righteous

let love keep my will upon its knees

2010-07-27T22:21:00.003+08:00

me love you people who brightened up my day(night)!!

me love song! heheheheheeeeee
THANK GOD FOR AWESOME AND GODSENT PPL. :)
love yall, covenanted friendship!!!

anyway,
for whatever that is happening now,
i know God is in control.
God is behind the blessings, the tests, the uncertainty and the unbearable.
thank You for everything.
You remind me that everything now will pass away,
but only You and those who love You will stand.
loving You is my greatest commandment.
dear Lord, no matter how hard the days will get,
how dry this land might be,
let us pursue after Your heart and ask for more and more of You in our lives.
sorry for letting You down always, but thank You for looking past my failures and sin and choose to look on me with love.
who am i to receive such grace?
wo ai ni!
keep me humble and close in every step i take.
in all things that i'm not sure of, God i pray You guide and light my path,
always assuring us that we are blessed and loved to do so much more for You.
go before us as we follow You and sow seeds in people's hearts around us.
let not the world harden my heart.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

2010-07-26T21:55:00.002+08:00

i wanna watch Inception and Letters To God!!!!!
omgosh but no time and no money :(
ohwell..
AND OMGOSH I LOVE USHER'S OMG.

DANCE DANCE DANCE
USHERING USHERING USHERING
FELLOWSHIPPING FELLOWSHIPPING
WORSHIPPING WORSHIPPING WORSHIPPING
FASTING FASTING FASTING

thank God for everything!

Dear God..

2010-07-25T12:41:00.002+08:00

Dear Mr God - The Warren Brothers

Dear Mr. God,
i’m writin’ You today
because it seems like lately
i’ve forgotten how to pray
i know i don’t need this pen
but everybody likes to get
a letter now and then
i’m sorry for not writin’ more

cause i need You
but it’s hard to see
why anyone as big as You
needs anything from me
i know You’re there
so how ya been?
i’m alright but i can’t lie,
sometimes i feel like givin’ in
You’re all i’ve got

Dear Mr. God,
sometimes i wish
You lived next door
so over coffee You could tell me
what You started all this for
i guess You saw
that sunrise yesterday
thanks for the reminder
that You’re never gone away
it gives me hope
telling You what You already know

Dear Mr. God,
tell me do You ever cry
when we forget to thank You
for the good things in our lives?
i know i can’t always understand
why You do the things You do
but i know in the end
i’ll make it through
if i stand next to You
so here i am

how can i be such a sad person when i've You?

i can't wait

2010-07-18T19:45:00.003+08:00

boys are back!
joelyeeeeeee and kiat!
missed you both!!

am kinda done with my first draft of EOM thank God!!!
hahahah and weeks ahead are gonna be busy busy!
dance, extra lessons, studying, essays etc.
but enjoying it!!

karmen jolyn sean shouyi joelyee kiat tzelin yaxin kellie denise cheryl rochelle szeyuen zhiting grace weeleng
love you guys so much!
i miss kimmie...
so i ended up reading your very old posts wahhaha!
love you :D:D

can't wait for everything in life to end, so that we can finally catch a breath together.

You are the answer

2010-07-16T21:50:00.005+08:00

i need a pair of arms to run into right now.
a pair of listening ears.
a smile that can light up my world.

why is it better to be carefree and not burdened?
why is it better to be humble and not proud?
why is it better to love and not be indifferent?

because we live on Love..

JOEL HOUSTON

2010-07-14T18:00:00.001+08:00

i really love joelhouston.
this cutesy face has been my wallpaper for a week alr.
omgosh love you so much.
can i please marry you?
although you're twice my age..

so i lay me down

2010-07-12T18:32:00.002+08:00

The Father's Heart - Hillsong's JORIM KELLY

when the walls close in around me
let your glory light the darkness of my night
when the suffering's all that i see
may i walk with You by faith and not by sight

upon the throne of sweet surrender
i have nothing but to offer you my life
greater love i have not found it
all by mercy You have eased this troubled mind
open hearted i will search and i will find

sin is broken
the lost now chosen
in the Father's heart

humble King You go before me
by Your grace i stand for everything that's true
through Your Son i am made worthy
there's no other who can love me like You do
and forever i'll keep running back to You

You - Hillsong's JOEL HOUSTON

invading all my weakness
You wrapped me up in grace
the worse of me succeeded
by the best of You

my heart is overtaken
my soul is overwhelmed
the worse of me succeeded
by the best of You

my dreams have found their purpose
my future in Your hands
this life would have no meaning
if it weren't for You

so i lay me down
for Kingdom come
steal all that is within me
cause all i want in this world
is more of You

and the less of me it is You
increasing as i fade away
Your life for all the world to see
God it is You who breaks the chains
it is You who lights the way
and everything i am cries out for You

Lord make me more transparent
Your life in mine displayed
and let every earthly glory
go back to You

give me enough time to grow up

2010-07-05T22:36:00.004+08:00

urgh crap i hate this part of me right here.
really,
i hate it.
but i can't take it away.
so ashamed.
intimidated yes.

but God can i choose to follow and take a few other thousand chances from You?
i'm very sorry,
every single time i do sin,
and You know it.
let him not silence my prayers,
let me not be a mute for a certain two days,
let me not not dare to look to You,
reconsider my worth (when i have none),
negotiating and compromising,
backing off and distracting myself with crap.

no self-reliance anymore,
though i may fail again.
but God help me this time.
this time, i need grace..

Lamentations 3:18-33

So I say, "My splendor is gone
and all that I had hoped from the LORD."

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.

Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.

Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.

and i will

2010-07-03T23:42:00.004+08:00

Like Incense - Hillsong

may my prayer like incense rise before You
the lifting of my hands a sacrifice
O Lord Jesus turn Your eyes upon me
for i know there is mercy in Your sight

Your statutes are my heritage forever
my heart is set on keeping Your decrees
please still my anxious urge toward rebellion
let love keep my will upon its knees

O God You are my God
and i will ever praise You

to all creation i can see a limit
but Your commands are boundless and have none
so Your word is my joy and meditation
from the rising and the setting of the sun

all Your ways are loving and are faithful
Your road is narrow but Your burden light
because You gladly lean to lead the humble
i shall gladly kneel to leave my pride

i will seek You in the morning
i will learn to walk in Your ways
and step by step You'll lead me
and i will follow You all of my days

OMOOOOOOOOO

2010-07-02T14:08:00.002+08:00

omgosh sorry i really need to say
2PM IS SO AWESOME NICHKHUN TAECYEON JUNHO JUNSU WOOYOUNG OMOOOOO
HAHHAHA
AND TAEYANG IS OMGOSH YES HOT
OMGOSH I LOVE SPAZZING
THEIR PERFS ARE REALLY OMGOSH SUPER AWESOME
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ONCE AGAIN,
POST-CTS ROCK 8D

2010-07-01T23:23:00.003+08:00

omo i can't resist not exclaiming...
TAEYANG IS UBER HOT AND OMGOSH UBER TALENTED AND A GREAT PERFORMER.
LOVE HIM TTM OMGOSH
CAN'T STAND IT HIS SOLO ALBUMS NEVER FAIL TO IMPRESS
I LOVE YOU TAEYANG OMGOSH HAHAHHA
YOU TOTALLY OWN JIYONG
OMGOSH I AM CURRENTLY IN LOVE WITH TAEYANG
OMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THIS IS NUTS I HAVEN'T SPAZZED FOR LIKE AGES BUT TAEYANG OMGOSH OMOGOSH OMGOSH
NUTS HOT TSSSSSSS

IF THERE'S NO DONGBANG, THERE IS STILL BIGBANG!
LOTS OF TALENT AROUND TO SHARE
LOVE BIGBANG, PERIOD!!!!!!!!
OMGOSH TAEYANG IS DA BEST

GLEE IS HECKA FUNNY HAHAHA
YAYYYYY POST-CTS FTW

2010-07-01T22:05:00.002+08:00

CTS ARE OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
TIME FOR DRAMAS AND SLEEP :D

in and out of season, there are problems and issues to be fixed.

josh/jonah :D HAHAHA

2010-06-29T22:27:00.005+08:00

hahah this is late but i just wanna say that i saw this ideal guy i had in my mind on the streets last wednesday!
hahahahahhahaah i am glad that he exists!
lolllllll.
his name shall be josh/jonah. I LOVE Js!!!
he has star tattoos near his ankle!
he looks like jiyong!
ok i wanna go insane but hahahaha shall restrain ohwell.
HE IS SOOOOOO IDEAL I WANNA KNOW HIM HAHAHHA.

ANYWAYS,
2 down 2 more to go!!!!!!!

i still believe in this,

am geared up

2010-06-27T12:02:00.004+08:00

love joelyee love karmenwong love seansiman love chewtzelin love denisetay love chewkiatshing love jolynwah
the few of the many i choose to trust.

love you rochelle, very much ^^

love You God, many much,
promise to be a more devoted and disciplined child of Yours.
Your words will not return without it completing Your will here in my life.

learning to understand myself,
my likes and dislikes.
one thing's for sure, i dislike noise and wailings.
thou shall learn to be one who's positive during difficulties and not complain/whine hahaha ^^

2010-06-24T23:59:00.002+08:00

technically, 2 more days left. zzzzzzz
get it over and done with.

thoughts to be chewed on,
faithhopeLOVE
where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

madness, but enjoying it

2010-06-17T21:27:00.002+08:00

omgosh have been crazy studying these few days and i've completed revision for bio!
am 3/4 into math now!
omgosh THANK GOD for granting me desire to work hard.
love the catchup with kimbo ^^
and i love my sheepie, let's jiayou fasting and praying hard ok!

food for thought for myself these days:
living as an uncomfortable generation, revelation, fasting&praying, eternity, God giving and taking, faith-having great expectations yet submitting to God's will, 100%man-- efficiency and not wasting time, spiritual sensitivity, my little worries vs God's will.

KARENCAI 7 MORE DAYS FOR 2 AND 1/4 SUBJECTS MORE.
this is crazy but God will make a way!

i wanna love You more and more

2010-06-12T23:59:00.003+08:00

God is da best.
God is my refuge and my strength, my cup and my portion, my shield and my friend.
may You always be my treasure and gem.
You prove Yourself faithful always, thank You. :)

2010-06-11T11:34:00.002+08:00

i.... must.... s.... t.... u.... d.... y....
i have no self-discipline....
i must conquer this....

anyway, i saw ZHANG YAO DONG my favourite mediacorp artiste omgoshhhhhhhh.
he's like the only guy i really like since pierre pang is married lol.
ohwell AAAAAAAAAAH FANGIRL.
so goodlooking droolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllls.
lol whatever.

and i love you karmen and joelyee.
heh heh i think God sends different people and friends at different seasons of our lives.
and i thank God for them!
can't wait to love~~~

wanna be more prayerful and disciplined.
okkkkkkkkk.
shall fast from dramas and fanfics hahaha.

i miss my sheep and i can't wait to grow with you!!!
yea i need to grow loads ah hahahahah.
jiayou :D

song i love you

2010-06-05T23:11:00.001+08:00

KAREN says:
lolllllllll
i have decided..............................
to
follow Jesus
i have decided to follow Jesus
CHERYL. truth. says:
no turning black
KAREN says:
no turning back
CHERYL. truth. says:
*back
KAREN says:
LOL
NO TURNING BLACK
CHERYL. truth. says:
HAHA

LOL ok random, and totally not racist.
but LOL ok. random cherylsong moments that makes me laugh hehehehehheheeee.
and dian yi xia jian lollllllllllllllllllllllllll.
you owe me a card.